If you've been keeping up on the life and times of Jordan (and we know you have been, because you love tits, and she's got gargantuan ones) you know that she has a really interesting existence. So interesting, in fact, that she needed to write file her nails and look on approvingly as someone else wrote three volumes on her (surely randy) adventures (girl is frickin' twenty-eight!). And naturally after Paramount loses the rights to the life stories of Goldie Hawn, Tori Spelling, Minnie Mouse, and Saskatoon's local crazy cat lady, Jordan's memoirs will make a killer movie. And because Jordan happens to be a casting genius (we heard she was the true force behind the whole Gwen Stefani/Jean Harlow thing) she wants Keira Knightley to play her. Because that wouldn't be at all like Kate Bosworth wanting Gilbert Grape's mom to star in her life story.
Your real-life Malibu Barbie (London edition) said:
The film of my life is definitely happening. I'd like someone like Keira Knightley to play me – she's stunning and a very good actress. I'd want someone quite high profile like her doing it.
You know, now that we've had a little time to think it over, we do think Keira would make a pretty good Jordan. She would surely be perfect for the early years when Jordan stalked the streets of London, just trying to scrounge up enough money to insert gigantic sacks of rock-hard fluid into her chest so that she could take the world (or at least Page 3) by storm. It would be those later years that would be tricky. Since expensive CGI knockers would probably break the budget and Keira's lithe, malnourished frame would be incapable of carrying the weight of prosthetics, we've come up with a better solution. For every frame of the movie, the editors could take this:
and superimpose this:
and the result would look a little something like this:
We should totally quit our day job and become filmmakers. We're genius.
You might know Jordan as Katie Price. Get to know her better at MrSkin.com.
And Keira definitely shares Jordan's penchant for showing off her gumdrops. You can see them at MrSkin.com.
