It's been a few weeks since Anna Nicole's slurry awards show shock and awe campaign, and frankly, we've been a little lonely for a good train wreck. Although he didn't pull out his breasts, Johnny Depp graciously stepped in and filled the void with a charmingly surreal speech at the People's Choice Awards.
Depp was unable to physically be at the show to accept his "Favorite Film Star" trophy, so he beamed in a prerecorded message from eastern Europe, where he's currently filming The Corpse Bride.
Depp's head, looking mighty tore up according to guests at the ceremony, rambled, "Hey listen, I wanted to thank you all very, very much. I'm sorry I couldn't be there. It's a great honour. I'm on a mad trek through the Carpathian mountains searching for Vlad the Impaler who I'm hoping to hook up with. There's rabid dogs, wolves, all sorts of squeaky things, weird stuff. First I want to say thank-you to the people because you are the employer, you are our boss. I hope someday to make you all a cup of coffee."
A guest at the ceremony reported: "Everyone felt just a bit disappointed by Depp's speech. He looked exhausted and worn-out. Lots of people thought he must be ill. He was stuttering and behaving weirdly and you'd never have guessed he was the same fresh-faced guy who starred in 'Edward Scissorhands'." OK, you maybe had us until the last part:
