Robert Pattinson has been stripped of his crown, like Vanessa Williams and Carrie Prejean before him. Yesterday we reported that RPattz landed People’s Sexiest Man Alive title, but it turns out that we were just being toyed with. People released the real cover today, and it’s Johnny Depp again. Dude was the sexiest in 2003 and apparently, six years have done nothing to dampen his palpable handsomeosity, and he and his curiously patchy fu manchu have emerged victorious once again. According to PopEater, the senior editor at People explained,
“Johnny Depp was someone who was sexy 10 years ago. He’ll be sexy 10 years from now. He’s someone who appeals to multiple generations of women.”
And ten years after that, he’ll still be sexy. And he’ll be sexy 10 years after that. 10 years following that he’ll be in assisted living, gumming canned pears and goosing nurses with his fungus-nailed claw hands and he’ll still be sexy. 10 years after that he will be drained of blood and organs and in a coffin and he will still be sexy. 10 years after that, butyric putrefaction has set in, and beetles are chewing their way through Depp’s ligaments while tineid moths feast on his glorious hair and face it, you’d still f him. God, this was a hot story.
