The Jewel Takes a Mate

Congratulations are in order for adorable akimbo-toothed songbird and poetess Jewel and her rodeo guy beau Ty Murray, for they have tied the knot. Says People (via Celebitchy):

The singer and her longtime boyfriend, rodeo champion Ty Murray, eloped to the Bahamas and exchanged vows in a private ceremony Thursday night, her rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.

“She wore a traditional wedding gown, while Ty wore his favorite blue jeans, white shirt and cowboy hat,” says Jewel’s rep. “The couple is very happy and look forward to enjoying their honeymoon.”

We could not find words to adequately express our joy for the union of Jewel and Ty, so instead, we'll let Jewel do the talking. Here is a poem of hers that we think really captures the occasion.

Vincent Said

Vincent said she was like screwing a corpse,
but a 16-year-old corpse with young tits,
so it wasn't bad. She left the door open
while he pretended to be asleep
and did the walk o' shame
through the hotel lobby.

I know his girlfriend, Phyllis,
but I won't tell her.
It's not for me to judge
or to discriminate just because
she does
and he won't.



Jewel, sexy Jewel, is at MrSkin.com.