You know, we thought that Simpson sisters' creepmaster general father, Joe, couldn't get any more shuddersome after his appreciative comments in regards to Jessica's breasts. Guess what? We were wrong.
In a move the smacks of the very stuff cults are made of, Joe Simpson made daughter Jessica pledge her virginity until she married, during a ceremony when she was twelve years old. Joe gave her a promise ring and vowed to be the only man in her life until she was properly wedded off, explaining, "I'm going to tell you how beautiful you are every day. Even when you make a mistake, you are someone special. And I am going to be that person until the day you find a man to do that in my place."
Take a second, collect yourself, and dry heave a bit if you need to before reading Joe's cherry of a quote on top of that gossip sundae: "What better gift to give her husband? Never touched by another man."
