We absolutely, unequivocally believe that we are just moments away from seeing Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey perform the hillbilly interpretation of sex on our very own moving-image-machine thingy. But then again, we also believe that we are a magical creature birthed of the union of a unicorn and a hallucinogenic mushroom and that we can shoot diamonds encased in fire out of our ass. So what we believe might not hold much water.
This story comes from FemaleFirst, My Buddy to our Kid Sister, so naturally it's 100% true, 0% wishful, whack-worthy dreaming:
The alleged X-rated home movie is said to show the 'Dukes of Hazzard' actress and her ex-husband Nick Lachey engaged in a number of sex acts.
A source told Britain's Daily Sport newspaper: "Jessica is horrified her name and sex tape are being mentioned in the same sentence. She's always been a girl of high morals and principles."
According to reports the tape does exist and has fallen into the hands of the individuals responsible for leaking the Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee sex video.
It has been claimed that they are threatening to leak the tape if Jessica does not pay an undisclosed sum of money to keep it out of the public domain.
We've got a few possible theories on how this story started. First, Jessica saw how much attention Britney Spears received with a simple sex-tape rumor, got jealous, and let slip to one of her more gossipy friends (ok, her only friend, Ken Paves) that she was worried sick about the world seeing her sucking abilities. Or, and this may be more likely, Daily Sport got its hands on Joe Simpson's diary and took his richly detailed fantasies of watching his daughter fuck on film to be the God's honest truth. Plus, Nick and Jess? C'mon. You know if there is a Jessica Simpson sex tape it's gotta involve Johnny Knoxville.
Jessica may not have a sex tape, but she is sexy at MrSkin.com.
