Jessica Simpson does not appear to have as much brain power as your Stephen Hawkings or your Albert Einsteins or even your Yogi Bears, so it's really not that surprising that she would not heed the lessons learned by her disastrous Lisa Rinna-ing or her sister dipping herself entirely in plastic for that natural Madame Tussauds glow. But at least when Jessica says she'd consider plastic surgery she's talking about keeping her maracas pressed up to her chin.
We're not much for plastic surgery in these parts (unless it's of the completely-over-the-top Jocelyn Wildenstein variety. If you're gonna do it, fucking' do it.) but we are for celebrities talking about their boobs. Jessica told Britain's More magazine:
If my boobs ended up hanging round my waist, then I'd definitely get them pulled up! I'd never have anything done to my face. I like it the way it is.
We do quite appreciate Jessica Simpson's breasts just the way they are, young and natural and friggin huge (sorry, channeling Joe Simpson there) but we also love the idea of JSimp with knockers grazing her belt buckle. Perhaps if they sank low enough she could actually use them as a belt, find a way to tie the nipples through her belt loops, maybe partially wrap them around her waist. Down with plastic surgery, we say! The bazoom belt is gonna be so 2035.
Jessica. Bikinified. At MrSkin.com.
