Your chances of seeing Jessica Simpson play a porn star on screen are about as high as your chances of scoring a girlfriend who doesn't have "Made in Thailand" stamped on her ass, but if that opportunity ever does arise, you can be assured that Papa Joe will be right alongside her, probably taking notes on his little girl's "performance" (read: huge hooters) on his balls. He told People:
The last script that came to us was for Jessica to be a porn star. We were promised we would win an Oscar with that. I was like, 'Eh, we'll just buy a [statue of a] little man and keep our clothes on.'
"Oscar winner Jessica Simpson" are not words we see ourself saying anytime in the rest of eternity, unless of course the Academy starts doling out awards for shiniest hair or worst Southern accent. But we're more than a little concerned with the tone of Papa Joe's statement. "We" would win an Oscar? "We'll" keep "our" clothes on? We know that Jess and Joe have a relationship that is so creepily close that Joe probably wears Jessica's panties, but the last time we checked they were indeed two distinct people, even if they only have the brain power of one human. Plus, if they were freakishly fused into one being, we'd be afraid to know which body parts were doing the connecting. Cause we're pretty sure it would'nt be their shoulders.
