Jessica Simpson has been lying low recently. We figured it was because she was hard at work researching ways in which she can legally change nephew Bronx Mowgli's name to something normal and befitting a true Texan, like Jimmy Bob or Slim. But it turns out Jess has had other things on her mind. Like donuts. And chicken-fried steak. And the sage advice of one Mr. Steve Guttenberg. The little lady to our three men, FemaleFirst, reports:
Jessica Simpson wants to star in a British pantomime.The actress has been encouraged to pursue a role in a traditional Christmas theatre production after her friend Steve Guttenberg – who stars alongside Jessica in upcoming film 'Major Movie Star' – told her how much money she could earn.
The 'Police Academy' star told Britain's New! magazine: "I've been talking to her about when I did my stint in Bromley, UK, and she's keen to experience the panto for herself.
"I told her how I'd picked up 100 grand for four weeks' work – that's going to appeal to anyone!"
This idea might be attributed to Steve Guttenberg, but there's no fooling us. We know it's really Tony Romo who wants Jessica to be a mime. Just imagine the hours and hours of silent practice she would have to endure. Tony could finally watch a ball game in peace, without questions like "Does pork butt really come from a pig's butt?" making him miss important plays.
4 Comments
Uh, pantomime is a sort of vaudevillian revue, not "mime." It's broad comedy where Jess is likely to be cast in roles like a bimbo nurse bursting out of a too-tight uniform, or bimbo Mrs Claus bursting out of a too-tight costume, or a bimbo police woman bursting ou- well, you get the idea. So Romo would have to endure her practicing lines like, "Does pork butt really come from a pig's butt?" I'd be happy to help her if only for the privilege of watching her shower.
Bronx isn't really a suitable name for a Texan. Steve Austin Wentz might've been much better.
Um, maybe do a little research next time on the differences between "Mime" and "Pantomime."
One is not short for the other, knuckleheads.
See, this is why I hate the Stonecutters.