Jessica Simpson Not Treated Like the Major Movie Star She Thinks She Is

Say you're a movie executive with the Sisyphean task of making money off of a Jessica Simpson joint. You've failed to attract costars of a high caliber, settling on Steve Guttenburg and Vivca A. Fox, and you have the colossal failure of Blonde Ambition staring you in the face, mocking you with chants of "I ruined the careers of at least eighteen people. A couple of them are now working at the In-N-Out on Sunset. What makes you think you're any better?" What ever will you do? Let's see, the movie's about a pampered star who is humbled by a turn in the military. Why not send Jessica to Kuwait on a USO tour and make her sleep in bunk beds with a troupe of female impersonators swathed in black lace? That'll surely sell a couple of hundred tickets at the least, right? Page Six dishes:

WE hope Jessica Simpson doesn't mind shacking up in bunk beds. When the primped and heeled Simpson leaves for Kuwait today with the Pussycat Dolls, we're told the whole crew will be ditching their usual hotel rooms and limos for sleeping bags and bunks. "Jessica will be roughing it," said a source. "They're receiving no special treatment." Simpson, along with the Dolls, the band Disturbed and comic Carlos Mencia, will perform for troops Monday. The show will air live on MySpace.com.

Man, the U.S. military sure has it bad in 2008. During World War II troops were entertained by STARS! They got Frank Sinatra, Judy Garland, The Marx Brothers, Lucille Ball. And today's troops get some blonde reality-TV star, a bunch of fake women, a creepily pierced metal yodeler, and some guy who stole a bunch of jokes from Bill Cosby. Being a soldier these days really is a thankless job.