Jessica Simpson Is Full of Piss; Vinegar Levels Unknown

Remember when Jessica Simpson was a star? When she was married to that guy and they, like . . . did stuff? We think they were on TV for something or other. Maybe it was just Access Hollywood, though. Our memory is so hazy these days. And maybe they had a band or something? But, again, maybe they were just really into karaoke. Oh, wait, we know. It was because she was really dumb. She thought that chickens lived in the ocean or something, right? Is that why she's famous? It's so hard to come up with a reason these days. But whatever, we almost lost this shining star of the famous-for-something-or-other world! Because her pee pee was all backed up. In Touch reports:

Jessica Simpson was sent home from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles after being treated for a kidney infection. In Touch was first to break the news that the star went to the hospital on Friday, after not feeling well. "She was hospitalized for a kidney infection, but she has been released and is doing fine,” her rep tells In Touch. “She checked in on Friday morning because she was feeling achy and had a fever,” a friend of the family says. “She is so happy she is out and feeling great.”

Wow. That sure was a close call. We're lucky Jess wasn't afflicted with something more serious, like exhaustion or infectious Dane Cook cootie disease. The world just wouldn't be the same without her enormous talent cleavage.


Peep Jessica's cleavey talents at MrSkin.com.