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July 3, 2008 at 10:59AM

Jessica Simpson's Boobs Win

jessglug.jpgJessica Simpson might not be the smartest. Or the most talented. Or the prettiest. Or the best at singing. Or particularly skilled at cooking. Or a perfect shot. Or good with a crochet hook. Or a master of archery. Or--you get the picture. But one area in which she excels over all is the chestular area! In Touch Weekly conducted an urgently important poll in which readers voted on the "Best Celebrity Breasts" and Jessica came out on top. Top! Get it? Here is the full list:



1. Jessica Simpson
2. Tyra Banks
3. Scarlett Johansson
4. Carmen Electra
5. Lindsay Lohan
6. Katherine Heigl
7. Audrina Patridge
8. Jennifer Aniston
9. Megan Fox
10. Beyoncé Knowles
That's, frankly, a rather odd list. Because Audrina Patridge and Carmen Electra don't actually have breasts. Unless jelly-filled ziplocs are tits. And we never noticed Katherine Heigl had breasts because they were dwarfed by the size of her mouth the the cloud of Marlboro smoke.



Check out Jessica's winning cleavage at MrSkin.com.

Related Topics: Jessica Simpson, boobs

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Whoever came up with this list should be told that boobs are NOT supposed to look or feel like saggy bags of sand.

I'd very much rather she came out of top. "Get it?"


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