Jessica Biel Flosses Her Butt

Apparently celebrities spent their weekend just like we did: holed up at home wearing a face mask, popping Tamiflu, watching CNN. Because they obviously weren’t making news over the last two days. So instead of a funny story that we would comment on in a humorous manner, we bring you the Jessica Biel stripper work out. Nice, huh? Those big, meaty cheeks wrapped around that rope sure is enticing. Unless of course you’ve actually been listening to your newscaster’s freak-out warnings about washing your hands twelve times an hour, then all you’re likely to be thinking upon seeing this is: fecal matter. Possibly diseased fecal matter. Time to start building that plastic bubble and hording Cool Ranch Doritos.