Jessica Alba's Baby Adds Junk to Trunk

Like Weird Al at the beginning of his video for "Fat", preggo Jessica Alba is expanding at rates previously unchartered. Her zippers bust, her buckles break. She's got more chins than Chinatown. Ham on whole wheat, all right. Jessica tells People:

"When you're pregnant, your breasts are engorged and your stomach is getting bigger. And the ass, too, that's getting bigger by the second!"

We're sure that every girl who suffered the injustice of going to high school with Jessica Alba is sitting back, hands folded, a self-satisfied smile spreading across her face. Now if only Jessica could develop a scorching case of facial impetigo and have a family of Madagascar hissing cockroaches take up residence in her vaginal cavity, all that hard work little Jennifer and Melissa and Amy performed on their Jessica Alba voodoo doll during 1991 sleepovers would finally bear fruit.

Take a crack at Jess's crack! At MrSkin.com.

Related Topics: Jessica Alba, celebrity pregnancies

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Except she looks good with the extra weight, unlike her jealous high-school classmates.

 Posted by: Bobo | January 14, 2008 12:49 PM

wen iz she due???

boy i wish she was mine, lol

 Posted by: jason | January 14, 2008 01:07 PM

I think Jessica looks fabulous. She obviously intends to stay as fit and healthy as possible during her pregnancy, she is often spotted working out at the gym. I guess she will be yet another celebrity mum who looks slim again soon after giving birth. Good for her.

 Posted by: Love Gossip | January 15, 2008 05:23 AM

Gorgeous. I haven't seen her this gorgeous since the beginning of Dark Angel. For awhile I was really bummed out at how thin and less rounded she was looking.

 Posted by: Tatiana | January 26, 2008 04:57 PM

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