They’re Bringing the Relationship Back (Yeah?)

Yesterday we reported that Justin Timberlake had departed the lusciously bumpy terrain of Jessica Biel and set sail for the fecund plains of Rihanna town. Weirdly enough, pictures of JT and Biel leaked immediately to the press, showing the couple happy and in love and holding hands. And by that we mean that Jessica, her hair pulled off her face in so stern a fashion that she surely derives power from the pain, puts a bone-snapping death grasp on Justin’s paw and dragged him behind her like a castrated maltipoo while Justin looked at the camera, his face white and his eyes begging the photographer to call 911. How could we ever have doubted their unbreakable bond?

P.S. Lainey says they’re definitely broken up. We shall see.