Usually when a girl's husband cheats on her and she's suddenly single and needs a good rogering, she finds some hot asshole with whom she can barely carry on a conversation but who gets the job done. And it doesn't matter if he's a total prick who calls her fat to her face, because once she's had a good bout of rebound sex she never has to see him again. But in Jennifer Aniston's case, she just kept on dating the guy.
Apparently Jennifer took a good look at Mickey Rourke's face and decided it might be a good idea to quit smoking, but so far she's not having much luck, and it's all Vince Vaughn's fault. Britain's Daily Express reports:
Jen has been in trouble with her doctor because she went to him for help in giving up and she hasn't. Every time she tries, there would be Vince puffing away. He's not helping in the least and when she tells him off about it, he laughs.
We can see Vince, towering over the malnourished and so very sad actress, blowing smoke in her face and snickering, "Ha ha, little baby can't quit smoking! Doesn't this smell good, Jen? Dontcha want a big lungfulla sweet tabacky?" (We're not quite sure why in our imagination Vince Vaughn sounds like a shyster car salesman, but that's just the way it is.) But even with her boyfriend's truly charming demeanor, Jen's still holding out hope.
She's convinced that the day she falls pregnant will be the day she and Vince stop. She just needs that extra incentive.
Yeah, we think that's what Jennifer Garner and Britney Spears said, and the baby ploy didn't work there either. In fact, we think that the only way fetus Vaughniston could encounter more secondhand smoke than Violet or Sean P would be if Vince found a way to stuff a tube directly into Jennifer's uterus and blow smoke straight into it.
(And, by the way, when exactly was the last time Jennifer Aniston was seen wearing an actual color? We've been watching closely for a couple weeks now, and all we've seen have been black, white, and all shades of beige. Maybe once in a while she'll get crazy and don some gray. We think at this point we'd be shocked by even some chocolate brown or navy blue. And a bit of bright red or orange might give us heart palpitations and make us question everything in life we thought to be true.)
Jennifer is smokin' hot at MrSkin.com.
