Hot on the heels of Christina Aguilera finally manning up to the fact that there is a being all up in her pelvis, Jennifer Lopez is conceding. She fought the good fight, but she simply couldn’t hold out any longer and admits insemination. The announcement came on the last night of her tour with husband/unfrozen caveman troubadour Marc Anthony:
The video is horrifying. Watch in terror as J. Lo and her he-concubine take the stage, beaming down on their yelping minions. For one excruciating minute they stand there, like a Puerto Rican Eva Peron and her lapdog. Instead of opening her mouth and imploring her serfs to cease crying for her, she instead beamingly admits that she let the corpse next to her ejaculate inside of her. Her disciples erupt into a deafening howl of victory. Unto them a king shall be borned! Pay particularly close attention to the plaintive wails of the woman holding the camera. J. Lo’s pregnancy announcement has made her life, and it’s chilling. Congratulations, Lopez, you crazy fucking Creme de la Mer-coated harridan. Tiny Balenciaga onesies and emerald-encrusted pacifiers await. Excelsior!
J. Lo no preggo but sexo and nude-o at MrSkin-o.
