Vaughniston Split Over Hungarian Indiscretion

When we woke up this morning, tapped a little meth into our espresso and sat down to peruse the morning's gossip, we noticed the proliferation of "Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn in Real Life Break-Up LOL!" stories but did not read them because A. they were still together? and B. those two, they numb our buns. But then the wily Star magazine unearthed a possibly false but certainly lurid tale of Vince, a college coed, the romantic backdrop of Budapest, and the power of the internets, and we sat up and took notice, in our own blasé, seen-it-all way. We are glamorous and world-weary, you see.

So! Vaughniston spent Thanksgiving apart, with the "iston" part enjoying her turkey with the Cox-Arquettes, and the "Vaughn" half doing something way, way sexier. Which is difficult, because, as we all know, there are few things more sensual than David Arquette serving green bean casserole in a novelty "Quiche the Cook" apron.

According to Star, Vince spent the evening of November 25th befriending a rogue group of traveling college students at a Budapest restaurant. Long gone are the days when oversexed Hollywood beau-hunks could safely travel to mysterious lands and bed starry-eyed coeds--what Vince doesn't know is that everyone's a blogger these days, and that includes his Thanksgiving date, one Laura Mallory Lane. The 20-year-old wrote the (sadly, PG-rated) tale of her romantic evening with Vaughn and forwarded it in email form to all her friends, who dutifully handed it over to the proper authorities, i.e. Star:



And they even included a screenshot of her blog. Christ, we'd pound Vince Vaughn if it meant Star would give us some free advertising. Just kidding. The idea of flailing under 275 lbs. of nose hair and Aniston sloppy seconds is not worth it. Especially the idea of him groaning out, "That's . . . so . . . moneyyyyy" at the apex of his lovemaking.

You can see Aniston's Anus-ton (kinda) at MrSkin.com.