Johniston, We Hardly Knew Ye

He contorts his face entertainingly while strumming a glorified phallus. She's America's favorite wronged woman. He has a new armful of tattoos. Her body is a wonderland. Together, they are lonely Jennifer Aniston and boy toy John Mayer, and they might be dunzo for the second time. IMDb reports:

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer have reportedly ended their on/off relationship for good, after the rocker was allegedly spotted kissing another woman.

[In Touch magazine] reports that Mayer was seen enjoying an intimate date with a blonde woman in Santa Monica, California on Wednesday night.

A source tells the magazine, "They were obviously on a date. He came in with her another time too and Iíve seen them out together. He gave her a long kiss before they left. John has been here six times in the last two weeks but never with Jen."

If there is a higher power out there, we pray that this news is true because each time we're forced to write a story about this two dullards it's like trying to make a wedding cake out of dirt. Maybe now Jen and John can go on to do more interesting things, like waiting to get called for jury duty or cleaning baseboards.