The Aniston Gets Dumped. Again.

ANNNNND here we go again. Jennifer Aniston is sad. Awwww. Poor unlovable Jen. Why can't she keep a man? Is it because she refuses to do it in the butt? We're guessing that's why. Reports The Mirror:

Unlucky-in-love Jennifer Aniston has been dumped by her latest boyfriend, rock singer John Mayer.

The pair initially decided to spend some time apart... before making the break official earlier this week.

"There's been a bit of tension for some time," says a source close to 30-year-old John. "They initially opted for a break, hoping a trial split might make them stronger. Sadly it doesn't seem to have worked.

"John took the decision to end things as he felt he just wasn't ready for the level of commitment that Jennifer deserved.

"Contrary to reports, Jen didn't want to have kids or marry this year, but she did want to set a timetable for their future together.

"She also wanted him to assure her he would cut down his tours in the future when they did eventually have children.

"Initially, Jennifer was furious when he told her of his decision but now she's simply sad - not to mention a little heartbroken.

"They have spoken on the phone since the split and are trying to remain on good terms.

"But unless John has a dramatic change of heart, it's unlikely they'll rekindle their romance."

Funny, then, that The New York Daily News paints Mayer as the one crying into his Ben & Jerry's Goodbye Yellow Brickle and Jen as the one already getting her cooch wet.

Has John Mayer been crying his eyes out over his apparent split with Jennifer Aniston? His makeup artist had to use PerriconeMD's Advanced Eye Area Therapy because the rocker's eyes were puffy. Aniston is already dating someone else in L.A., we hear.

Jen really needs to take this opportunity to prove to us that she's not spending every Saturday night stuffing her maw with cake and crying while watching An Affair To Remember. She needs to start humping no less than eighteen men at once and make it clearly known to the whole world that this is true. Have some balls, girl. No one will accuse you of being perpetually sad if you're schtuping the oldest Jonas brother and one of the Gossip Girl boys simultaneously.


Jennifer Aniston nude at MrSkin.com will not make you sad.