Ah, culinary technology! Since the middle of last century, inventions such as the bread machine and the Wunder Boner have made it possible for busy couples to have more time for making whoopee. Just think of all the marriages that have been saved thanks to the advent of the ice cube tray! Why, back in the old days, wives had to stand outside in the snow holding water cupped in their bare hands for hours! One famous person whose relationship has benefited from kitchen gadgetry is The Office cutie Jenna Fischer, who tells Self that the Crock Pot has heated up her sex life.
"Since we didn't have to cook [at night], it left time for hanky-panky! [It's] the best invention since the microwave for busy women who want a home-cooked meal."
The funny part is imagining all the maroons who stopped reading before the quote and ran out and stuck their dicks in the crock pot. That gives new meaning to "meat so tender it falls off the bone".
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