Remember in seventh grade, when you lived in constant fear of being called to the chalkboard while sporting a semi? The thought of trudging silently up the aisle of the classroom, as if walking to the beat of a funeral dirge, towards your chalky doom in which 32 kids in varying states of pubescence scream with laughter and point at your pup tent is still your nightmare. Admit it. So imagine that scenario, only instead of 32 kids, it’s 30,000. And instead of the blackboard covered in pre-algebra equations, it’s a stage filled with dancers in futuristic rags straight out of Scandal’s “Warrior” video. And instead of the teacher handing you the chalk, it’s Janet Jackson in a spandex robot outfit and a mohawk kneeling in front of you and rubbing your balls. And you’ll understand the joy and misery this fan must have been feeling when he was plucked out of the audience, tied up, and sexually stimulated in front of an entire concert crowd. Man, Courteney Cox had it lucky. She only had to dance with The Boss.
See Janet’s football at the Superbowl! Remember that? It’s at MrSkin.com.
