Break Out the Moonshine and Celebrate the Birth of Another Baby Spears

Another Spears littl'un has arrived y'all! Well, maybe. All the buzz this morning was that Jamie Lynn was set to give birth through her tummy hole today, but we're pretty sure people are just making this shit up now. Especially since the supposed confirmation came from The National Enquirer. Sure, they may have been right about Patrick Swayze, but if all of the sudden we live in a world where The Enquirer can be trusted for actual facts, we may as well find out for ourselves what Wino finds so intriguing about crack, because the world will never be the same. And as for the name, nobody knows an f'ing thing, really. First we heard that JL and her offroadin' paramour were going to combine their names to come up with something super cool and classy and unique. Like Cailynn. But since that isn't quite country enough, JL may also be considering Emma Jean (according to her "friend", whom we're betting goes by the name Lynne). But People claims the future OK! cover model is being called Maddie Briann. Seriously, we don't really care right now. These names are all boring, and we don't yet believe any of them (remember Preston Michael Spears and Sutton Pierce Federline?). And since we think that these names all materialized in the brainpans of disgruntled gossip writers, we'll jump on that train too. We just happened to have spent our vacation in Kentwood last week, and as we were searching the aisles at Wal-Mart for Little Hugs, we ran into Jamie Lynn and she threw out some possibilities for us. At the top of the list were Jessie Us (for our Lord and Savior) and Pumkin Pie ('cause it's tasty). She also lamented that she wasn't having a boy because she was really hoping to name him Wally Mark in honor of her favorite place.