We all knew Jamie Foxx had skills; he used them to make every woman in America cry with his speech at the Golden Globes. What we didn’t know is that he’s also skilled in the art of simile. He thinks women are like cars.
The Oscar hopeful said, “Women and relationships are like cars. You buy a Mercedes, it’s brand new. You drive it for a couple of years. Then you see another Mercedes, an updated model, and you think: ‘Man! I got to trade this in!’ But what you really want to find is the classic, that ‘57 Chevy that you are going to hold on to for the rest of your life. I am in search of a classic.” How is he going about finding this “classic”? By pulling an Usher and bedding five women at once, of course. He said, "The most women I have had in my bed at the same time is five. And we were just watching TV, that's all we did. We watched a nice program." "Program", of course, is a code word for Jamie's penis.
While at first we were impressed with Jamie's simile skills, we thought we'd heard that particular one somewhere before. Then we recalled the timeless poetics of pee-pee lover R. Kelly. "You remind me of my jeep, I wanna ride it . . . Girl you look just like my cars, I wanna wax it." Personally we think R. Kelly painted the prettier picture.
