Jack Black's Childhood One Big Skinemax Movie

What could be more painful than squeezing yourself into a crowded theater in hopes of Naomi Watts reenacting Fay Wray's original King Kong nip slip and instead having your cranium invaded by Jack Black's ten-foot-tall face on the screen in front of you? Perhaps watching him make the same supposedly goofy face for the trillionth time while saying "zabbedy zobbedy zow" and expecting people to laugh? Or having to endure one of his hammy songs about how much he loves pizza or how much of a bedroom stud he thinks he is? No, we know; it's hearing him talk about how he wanted a piece of his parents' nightly threesomes.

Jack Black took a break from pretending to be funny to chat with GQ about the sexual cult his parents turned to in an attempt to save their marriage.

"My parents met this other woman who ended up coming and living with us. In the same bed. They were trying to make it work . . . It was a meltdown."

And of course wee little Jack wanted nothing more out of adolescent life than to pork the lady who'd been banging both of his parents. He continued,

"She ended up leaving because she knew that I was crazy for her and was not into the weird unhealthiness of it."

We now understand that Jack Black's annoying need for attention, insistence on clinging to the same bit for ten years, and pitiful movies all stem from losing the love of his parents' girlfriend. Maybe we'll take pity on him and not beat him senseless with a tire iron the next time we run into him at In & Out.
Did we mention a vintage Fay Wray nip slip? You bet your giant monkey we did. Check it out at MrSkin.com.