J. Lo Gets Depressed, Damns Gods of Fertility

Jennifer is sad. And for once weíre not talking about Jennifer Aniston. Rather Jennifer Lopez got bummed the fuck out when a reporter for Elle magazine asked her about Ben Affleckís new marriage and incubating spawn.

Lopez was caught off guard when asked about her feelings regarding her exís dive into domesticity, but replied, "I hope that they're happy. You know, it's a beautiful thing. There are no hard feelings." After the interviewer apologized for bringing up such a touchy subject, Jennifer said, "Yeah, you depressed me." We imagine that what happened next included Lopez pulling skeletal troll-doll husband Marc Anthony into the nearest broom closet, demanding that he ìimpregnate me now, you worthless little man,î and re-enacting the scene in Election where Matthew Broderickís wife yells ìFill me up, fill me up,î all while sobbing that ìthat damn dimpled West Virginian may be having a baby before me, but I got the huge pink diamond and Monster-In-Law made more money then Elektra, so ha ha ha, I win, I win, I win!î (Yeah, weíre sorry about putting the image of Marc Anthony working his baby juice on J. Lo into your heads. We just sufficiently grossed ourselves out and must now go find the nearest bottle Captain Morganís and think only of unicorns and rainbows for the rest of the day.)

Maybe the sight of her own boobs would cheer Jenny up. At MrSkin.com.

And don't forget about the other, more pregnant Jennifer. Also at MrSkin.com.

And see the man who's had them both at MaleStars.com.