2006 to-do list: Become major fashion designer, pretend to like wieners, touch Scarlett Johansson's boob. And because we happen to be a classy gay dude who doesn't get any erotic enjoyment out of the sensation of touching Scarlett's soft, supple, sensuous secondary sexual characteristic she will just giggle and smile. Thanks for the idea, Isaac Mizrahi!
Yes, The Golden Globes were kind of a snooze (although we did chuckle at George Clooney's Jack Abramoff joke). No one showed up wearing a placemat from Casa de Tortilla Grande that they had fashioned into a dress (we don't think Paris Hilton was invited); no one drunkenly stumbled and fell on their face on their way to accept an award. But even without Kathy Griffin insulting half the red carpet and Star Jones trying to work in anecdotes about her non-gay husband's fabulous penis, the E! pre-show had its highlights. Or is that headlights? We were already drunk by this point (we took a shot any time the camera focused on Johnny Depp looking unhappy or Michael Bolton looking pissed that he can't screw anyone hotter or younger than Nicolette Sheridan), so we're not really sure why Isaac Mizrahi felt the need to grope ScarJo, but we're glad he did. Now we have an image of Scarlett getting felt up while having a hearty laugh. And there's nothing wrong with that.
(Oh, and if you want to see the hooter honking for yourself, Popsugar has a nice clip and Egotastic has some big ol' stills.)
More of Scarlett's Golden Globes at MrSkin.com.
