Imagine Clarissa explaining it all from atop a dude's ding dong. Picture Mayim Bialik as Malloy, inserting that trumpet into her womanly chasm with a saucy wink. Entertain the thought of Moose from You Can't Do That on Television freaking Barth behind the counter of his burger joint. If these visions are difficult and/or painful for you, perhaps you'd do well to imagine drunk Hilary Duff grinding on some puck-shuffler's boner. Because that actually happened! According to The Sun:
The pretty actress – who shot to fame in kids' TV show Lizzie Maguire – treated her ice hockey star boyfriend Mike Comrie to the saucy performance at exclusive New York hot spot Tenjune.
A partygoer said: "Hilary was having a wild night, drinking Veuve Clicquot straight out of the bottle. She looked nothing like the sweet little Lizzie Maguire she once was as she treated Mike to a series of raunchy lap dances. The place was packed but Hilary didn't mind."
One's first reaction might be of slight shock that the very wee Hilary Duff has turned to underage drinking accompanied by squashing her can on a guy's groin. But keep in mind that when Lindsay was Hilary's age, she was on a first name basis with several Colombian drug lords, and when Britney was 20, she had, like, five children and was in the throes of a miserable snack cake problem. So honestly, a little champagne and a lap dance seems almost sweet in comparison. Awwwww. Drunky lapdance. How positively droll!
The Duff, not quite in the buff (yet)! at MrSkin.com.
