Normally, we refer to our lead story as "The Sexy Lady Story" and like to feature some sort of facially or corporeally attractive famous female in various states of undress, discussing her anus, and such and such.
Today, the term "Sexy Lady Story" is a misnomer, or possibly an outright lie. Gentle reader, accept our heartfelt apologies.
"Wheee! I just picked up this beige full-coverage number at a buy-one-get-one-half-off sale at Kohl's! Shit is straight Warner's brand, bitches! Double hooks and durable triple-wide straps to hold up the lady lumps! Check it out!"
Weirdly enough, the fact that Fergie did not go the obvious route and sport a taped pastie or nothing under her sweater and instead went for the comfortable JC Penney mom-bra sort of endears her to us. Less endearing is the fact that her new single, "London Bridge", is rumored to be about foursomes. Our gossip night nurse, FemaleFirst, says that "the song . . . refers to when two women and two men have sex and form a position to make a 'bridge'." When asked if the song was autobiographical, Fergie said,
"Have I ever been involved in one? No I don't think I ever have actually. No, no I haven't. But I'm definitely touching on issues that aren't childlike!"
Well-played, Fergie. When asked about getting triple teamed by persons of varying genders, it's always best to steer the conversation to children.
Fergie! Pics! Clips! MrSkin.com!
