With Lindsay currently on her best behavior, Paris skulking around following her embarrassing birthday snafu at the oily hands of Brandon Davis, and Britney safely tucked away within the confines of Promises's manicured grounds, the prospects of spying a little surreptitious celebrity labes is looking grim, friends. But like a phoenix from the vulvaless ashes, Helen Mirren rises.
Guess who went commando at the Oscars? No, not Penelope Cruz. No, it wasn't Jennifer Hudson, man, are you daft? It was Dame Helen Mirren, she of the rapturously firm sexagenarian rack. Our gossip doula, FemaleFirst.com, reports:
Helen, who was speaking about her customised Christian Lacroix gown, told US chat show host Oprah Winfrey: "It was all made for me so I didn't have to have any underwear."
Grasping her breasts to illustrate her point, she added: "It fitted me like two angel's hands. I cried when I put it on, it is a work of art."
Although FemaleFirst drew us in with the eye-catching entry title "Commando Mirren", from this quote, we gather she was talking about the upper underthings, and not her panties. Though Mirren is quite the old silver fox and we wouldn't mind catching a glimpse of the Oscar gold that resides in her undercarriage, we have to point out that she's sixty-one and most likely still wears ruffled pantaloons. Though, judging by the fact that it's been Helen and not the usual celebutard suspects dominating the gossip pages for the past week, perhaps this heralds a shift in the public opinion of what constitutes sexy, and in the future, Mischa Barton upskirts will consist of peeping whalebone corsets, bloomers, union suits, and petticoats. And instead of "nip slips" we'll have a category for scandalous farthingale shots. Oh, the tittering and kerchief-dropping that shall ensue!
Helen Mirren is naked at MrSkin.com. Young Helen Mirren, even.
