Heidi Fires Spencer, Hires Hoodoo Man

It’s about time to take the final bits of scaffolding off Heidi Montag following her triathlon of plastic surgery. And bandages aren’t the only thing she’s shedding. She’s also dumping her husband/flesh-colored beard-grower Spencer Pratt as her manager. And guess who she’s hiring in his place? Someone with lots of experience? A real professional? A rich guy in a suit? No, some dude who diddles crystals. According to People, Heidi announced:

“After the incredible experiences I have had healing my life and truly connecting to my dreams with healer intuitive Aiden Chase, I have officially asked him to become my manager,” Montag says. “Having an intuitive psychic leading my team gives me an edge no one else has.”

“No longer is my husband the face of my business or managing my career,” she adds. “I am going to have Aiden Chase help manage my new life and career in a very different and positive way with light and love. The time for change is now. Never mix business and pleasure. We are no longer Speidi but Spencer and Heidi.”

Terrific idea. Why not employ a homeopath to do your next plastic surgery or a Native American shaman to be your accountant? “Swimming Bear, how are my stocks doing?” “No good, Jiggles with Silicone. Should have sold J.P. Morgan for more wampum when had chance.”