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Hanks Set to Bore in Da Vinci Code

Continuing a long history of giving overrated performances in overrated movies based on overrated books, Tom Hanks has won the lead in the upcoming film version of Dan Brown's bestseller, The Da Vinci Code.

Your mom loved it, your grandma loved it, your great-aunt Eunice raved about it, and now it will be a major motion picture starring that nice Mr. Hanks! Ron Howard will direct (natch), and Hanks beat out heavy-hitters such as Russell Crowe, Hugh Jackman and George Clooney to win the role of professor Robert Langdon.

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