Get Well Soon, Gwynnie

Pretty-haired thespian Gwyneth Paltrow has been admitted to the hospital after suffering a mystery disease. Acute uppitiness? According to US:

Gwyneth Paltrow was admitted to New York's Mount Sinai Hospital yesterday afternoon, Usmagazine.com has learned.

"She was slumped over in a wheelchair pushed by [husband] Chris Martin," an eyewitness tells Us. "She looked not well."

At 6:30 p.m., a bag ó labeled "Gwyneth Martin" ó from NYC organic home supply store Organics Avenue was delivered.

A source tells Us she and Martin were spending the night.

The reason for the hospitalization is unknown.

Her rep tells Us, "We are not commenting as it's a personal matter."

"Personal matter" is the excuse that girls used in 9th grade gym class when they didn't want to go swimming, so we're just going to assume that this is nothing serious and that Gwyneth Paltrow is simply sitting on a Carefree maxi, refusing to use a tampon because that would mean she wasn't a virgin anymore. Either that or she has something really embarrassing, like green diarrhea or a marble shoved in her nose or the clap. Excuse us–the correct medical terminology is "crotch rot".