Madonna Settles, Wears Astroturf

Have we mentioned that we now love Guy Ritchie? There may have been talk of a Team Guy t-shirt, we're not sure. We have never seen even one of his movies, but this whole Madonna divorce has convinced us that he's a pretty awesome dude (we were going to say guy there, as we use dude far too often, but calling Guy a guy just seems strange). We're pretty sure all he wants in life is a cold beer at the pub and time to watch football with his sons. And since he doesn't want any of Madge's piles of cash, he's actually going to get his wish. Says TMZ:

The Madonna-Guy Ritchie divorce might already be settled, with Guy telling Madonna she can keep her Kabbalah coin all to herself.

According to a report in the Daily Mail, Madge won't pay out a penny or a pound of her $500 mil fortune to Guy, but their sons (David and Rocco) will split their time between London and New York. An announcement on the settlement could come by the end of the month, says a source.

We've been told Guy could still do pretty well in the divorce -- since Brit divorce law says he's due half.

You may have noticed that this isn't the type of story we usually cover, since it's all filled with happy endings and no one said anything stupid. So you caught us. It was a ruse. The real reason for this post? To show you that thing Madonna is pretending is a dress. That, my friends, is the reason the Weed Whacker was invented. Someone please give her a trim before some socialite's purse-dwelling chihuahua pees on her.


See Madonna nude at MrSkin.com.