Seriously, I’m surprised someone hasn’t considered suing her for breach of contract for her little ‘pictorial’. When a tart promises the goods to somebody in exchange for payment, it will be delivered come Hell or high water. Trying to mine a two- or three-issue deal out of this non-event will only cost PLAYBOY more in reputation and subscribers and will only make Ms. Montag an even bigger ass than she already is. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if her church decides to kick her out on a morals clause. Last time I checked, not many Christian sects were so hot about their parishioners doing nudie magazines even by today’s standards. That woman is going to bite off most than she can chew and it will end badly!

And the minute good ol’ Spencer decides to peddle the sex tape…well, I know Larry Flynt will pass unless he has exclusive creative control and THAT bastard doesn’t give in to nobody! (Wonder if there was a porno with a laugh track, because I have the feeling the Heidi Montag tapes will be getting some…for obvious reasons.)