Here you’re worried that you keep on forgetting your reusable totes every time you head out to the farmer’s market or that you can’t fit a compost bin into your kitchen, but you’re missing the point, man. You want to go green? Lost star Evangeline Lilly has the answer for you: Just stop crapping out babies. Says our own gossip doula, FemaleFirst:
The actress believes people are procreating at an alarming rate and must slow down their baby-making or adopt to “protect” the Earth.
She said: “For a very long time, I have had intentions to adopt. We have a huge population problem on Earth. We’re not going to protect the Earth the way we need to protect it if we don’t stop making so many babies.
“I have always wanted to have a child of my own and I will always want to go through the gift that women have been given to experience that, so I hope to be a mother at some point. I think I can allow myself one child – and from then on, I think I would have to adopt. It makes sense not to add to the population problem.”
Forget about your hybrid cars and your solar panels and your “if it’s yellow, let it mellow” rule. You really want to save the planet? Don’t birth little Madison and Jamison and Ellison naturally; go save them from poor people in other countries! It’s green and fashionable.
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No, no, no, green-loving celebrities! Please don’t import your adopted babies from third-world nations! Besides the enormous carbon footprint of flying them back to the US, you’ll just be raising them to be greenhouse-gas-producing American citizens who will grow up and drive Hummers and buy plastic things and vote Republican for the next ninety years! But if you left them back in their homelands, they would walk everywhere, live without electricity, and depart this vale of tears at the ripe old age of 45, having done far less damage to our planet!
Remember, celebrities: Adopt Locally. You know, like how you buy meals at restaurants that get all their produce from the farmer’s market.
Wait, who are these Republican-voting celebrities? We’ve never heard of such a thing.
To be fair, she’s got a point about over-population. More and more people spreading things thinner and thinner. If people don’t reign it in, nature’s gonna do it for us and it won’t be pretty.
CNW is going to adopt a Duggar.
Can it be Jinger? Pleeeeeease?
Now having the sound clip to ‘Every Sperm Is Sacred.’ from MONTY PYTHON’S THE MEANING OF LIFE available with this blog post would’ve been good. A little ironic sacrasm is needed with Ms. Lilly’s quote. Course, that’s just me.