FWD: RE: RE: We're Breaking Up

Dear Nick,
When we first met, Daddy hadn't let me talk to many boys so I thought you were really hot. But then I started meeting boys who were way hotter and way more famous than you. And I think I can do better. I bet I could even score with Leonardo DiCaprio if I tried really, really hard and Daddy talked to his agent for me. So I think we should finally end this sham. And I don't care what you think. Nah nah nah. I'm in charge. HA! Well, maybe Daddy's in charge a little, but you're not in charge! You can't stop me! I never have to pretend that I don't hate you ever again! Have fun on the State Fair circuit, you washed up hack!
The ass that you will never tap again,
Jessica

So you've been in a sham marriage for months, possibly years, and you can't stand the sight of your spouse's face for one more second. How do you end this phase in your life and move on to salad tossing and dirty sanchezes with sundry members of a cable television show? If you're Jessica Simpson you hop into Outlook and transcribe an email. Classy. According to the upcoming issue of US Weekly, Jessica sent Nick an email last Wednesday informing him of her decision to go public with their separation. A source told the mag, "She had had enough of the marriage and the fighting. She just wanted it to be over." And Nick was none too pleased. "He feels like he was sucker-punched. He wasn't even expecting it. He was devastated." He felt he was at least entitled to one last bout of hot-tub sex before parting ways. Perhaps his next love interest–Miss Cincinnati 1997 or a member of the Ohio State choral ensemble–will be nice enough to dismiss him with a post card.

Jessica: single and sexy at MrSkin.com.