We spent the weekend working on our impressions (so far we've got Charles Nelson Reilly and Ross Perot down). We would stand in front of our mirror and look at our normal face then turn away and come back with a totally different face. It was like we'd had a really speedy visit from Kenny Rogers's plastic surgeon. But our best impression by far has to be Keira Knightley. It was really easy 'cause all we had to do was suck in our cheeks to look emaciated and say "fuck" a lot.
While Keira Knightley doesn't seem like she'd make a very good friend (she'd probably sleep with your boyfriend and send you a videotape of it), she does seem like a pretty good drinking buddy. She would be a lot of fun if you just remembered to keep your guard up. According to Page Six:
Somebody give Keira Knightley soap to wash out her mouth. In the most expletive-laced interview ever in Elle, the Oscar-nominated hottie says she rarely exercises because, "I'm trying to go '[bleep] it' and have bowls of pasta or whatever makes me happy … [Bleep] it, you've got one life – live it." About going nude for a Vanity Fair cover, she says, "I'm not completely comfortable with my body but I just thought, '[Bleep] it.'" Knightley tells the July issue of Elle's British edition, "I'll put a dress on and think, yeah, that looks great. But then I'll feel [like] a [bleep]head so I put my jeans on." Continuing her blue streak, she tells of making beaded jewelry with X-rated insults for her pals. "I did one for my brother that said 'f–k' … and I do 'd–khead,' too." One of her big Oscar moments came when she was nominated for "Pride and Prejudice" and sat next to Jack Nicholson – "a true [bleep]ing Hollywood moment." She admits downing a half-bottle of wine a night and says she donned a pig mask to leave her 21st birthday party because she was "annihilated" and "my make-up was smeared round my face."
While Keira may seem to be teetering on the edge of Tara Reidness, we're loving it. We're sick of Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson and the like getting wasted behind closed doors and claiming that they were just enjoying a quiet night of Scrabble and Snapple with their Mensa friends. If you get shitfaced, tell us about. It'll make us love you more.
Oh, and one more thing. Keira also told Elle that she finds Scarlett Johansson and Kate Winslet sexy because of their curves. She said:
That kind of decadent flesh is absolutely beautiful. How sexy is that on a woman?
While this may sound like a compliment, if you dig deep you'll discover that what Keira really meant by "decadent flesh" was: "Scarlett and Kate aren't known to pass up a box of Mallomars when they see one. But that's cool, because I dig fat chicks."
Fuck it, Keira's naked at MrSkin.com.
