Fez Back with Mandy; Lindsay Set to Flip

What will happen when top-heavy teen tyrant Lindsay Lohan discovers her fresh ex, That '70s Show's Wilmer Valderrama, is back with former flame Mandy Moore? Will her head whirl around like a Sit 'n Spin while her eyes glow like two angry coals? Will she go on a screeching rampage and crash her car again? Will her gargantuan breasts explode in anger?

Lohan's pals are betting the zaftig Disney actress will nab a high-profile boyfriend to get back at Fez for returning to the classy 'n' sassy Moore. A close friend (read: "snitch") says, "I don't know if [Lindsay] knows that Wilmer has been hanging out with Mandy. If she did, she would lose it. That was always one of the trouble spots in their relationship. It was that threatening-ex-girl friend type thing. She doesn't have her eye on anybody yet, but her new man will definitely be high profile – to get back at Wilmer." Hey, Lindsay, I hear Kurt Russell is available. Don't laugh–he was in Captain Ron!