Josh Duhamel Gives Fergie the Pole

We say "Scarlett Johansson working a stripper pole" and what's your reaction? Pupils turning into beating hearts, groin-tingling, a little tongue lolling? Now we say "Fergie on a stripper pole" and what happens? Anguished wailing, dry heaving, rocking and involuntarily shaking? Right. Curiously enough, Fergie's saintly boyfriend, actor Josh Duhamel, is actually excited about the prospect of a Cabbage Patch Kid with cornrows rubbing her mons pubis on an object in his domicile. Page Six says:

Josh Duhamel . . . just installed a stripper pole at home so live-in girlfriend Fergie can entertain him with a little bump and grind. "Fergie is taking lessons, but she won't get on it until she knows what she's doing, 'cause she doesn't want to look stupid," Duhamel tells next month's Glamour.

Thank God. We wouldn't want Fergie to look stupid.