Eva Mendes: The Star-Spangled Banger

With all this talk about elections and debates and candidates and superdelegates, there has been a fair amount of discussion on what it means to be an American. A true American. A true American is willing to fight for one's country. To stand up for one's right, no matter what the cost! To uphold the beliefs and values that made this country great. And to engage in sweaty sexual intercourse all across this great land of ours, from the mountains to the plains to the deserts and seas. Eva Mendes just made an appearance at Fashion Week to promote her line of bedding and, apropos of nothing, told the crowd that she had had sex in all fifty states. According to Daily Stab:

"A lot of it was on a road trip I took when I was younger,” Mendes said, going on to note the best sex took place in Arizona and Colorado. “maybe it was the clear air, or the quiet, or the endless sky,” she noted, “whatever it was, it was really, really good.”

And according to Mendes, the worst sex she had was in Alaska. “I’d really like a do-over on that state,” Mendes said, before suggesting publicists at Alaska Air “sponsor a trip for me there for that purpose.”

This kind of thing is definitely what Betsy Ross had in mind when she sewed that first flag in 1777. Looking back on her work, Ms. Ross adjusted her pince-nez and wooden teeth and traced the stars on the flag with her fingers. "This will serve as a portable bedpost upon which one can put one's notches," She noted. "The stars stand for coitus, the strips for anal. Mine eyes have seen the glory hole! Glory, glory, hole-a-screw-ya!"



Wanna see Eva naked? That's patriotic of your. Get thee to MrSkin.com.