Eva Longoria Heeds Words of Georgia Satellites, Disallows Hugging and Kissing Until She Gets Wedding Ring

There was once a time in CelebNewsWire history when we would be forced to write a story about Eva Longoria and her proclivity towards discussing matters of the crotch, as if compelled by some unseen, semi-sexy force. After she and athlete/awesome rapper Tony Parker were engaged, she suddenly stopped talking about her vagina and all the things that go in it an on it, and we haven't dedicated an entire story to her in five rapturous months. But like a boomerang with a vulva tattoo, she has returned! She appeared on Jimmy Kimmel's show and revealed that she has instated a "no sex" rule in the house, swearing off intercourse with Parker until their wedding night. She said,

"Luckily, we're getting married after the play-offs and then we need to consummate the marriage. I scheduled it that way."

Furthermore, they're marrying on July 7, and Eva says they chose the date because "it's the only weekend we're both off." Man, not touching your spouse-to-be for months and then squeezing a wedding in between playoffs and sitcom shooting, hurriedly timing your much-waited for connubial coitus before the new ABC season? Someone should alert A Wedding Story because this sounds like a dream come true.



Eva will give you a Longoria at MrSkin.com.