Papa Joe Simpson gives a hearty thumbs-up to the following things: his daughter's breasts, talking about his daughter's breasts, allowing his daughter to show off her breasts in print and on screen. Not OK? Hanging out with Eva Longoria. Never did we think we'd have so much in common with Jessica Simpson's father. Aside from our shared glorious mango-hued tans and an airs of stifling skeeziness.
Jessica and Eva have become thick as thieves after being introduced by their shared hairdresser, the Peter Pan-esque Ken Paves. It makes sense, seeing how they have the same interests: hair, makeup, shopping, breathing, sitting still and also moving sometimes, smiling real big, nodding. The idea of these two playing Barbies and having sexy pillow-fights in maribou-trimmed nighties is enough to make most approve of the friendship, but apparently, Jessica's lecherous dad is unhappy about his daughter's new BFF, because he thinks that every time the pair appear in public, Eva "hogs the spotlight". So like a good evil villain, Joe twisted his mustache, rubbed his spindly hands together, and hatched this plan:
Eva had invited her pals to a girls' night out. According to the Enquirer, Joe
ìhad an assistant phone Eva and tell her Jessica had to cancel because she was ill. Then he arranged for a private plane to whisk Jess and galpals to Vegas."
This is kind of like the grown-up, rich and famous people's take on the time you started hanging out with that eighth grade girl who showed you how to smack your Barbies together to make them have sex and stole her dad's Tareytons, so your mom threw away her roller skating party invitation and then bought you a new Huffy to make up for your disappointment. That totally happened to other people, right?
Jessica gets slinky at MrSkin.com
Eva's there too, asserting her bad influence.
