What's a girl to do when some brazen hussy swoops in and steals her lesbian lover? Sue the bitch for theft, of course. Ellen DeGeneres made headlines in December for dumping her lover of four years, Alexandra Hedison, for younger, blonder, and hotter lesbo lady Portia de Rossi. Now Alex is fighting back–Victorian style!
In addition to seeking palimony from DeGeneres, Hedison is reportedly suing de Rossi for "alienation of affection". See, back in the old days when a wife was seen as a man's property, seducing said wife could be considered theft. Sure, Alex, that'll work out just fine. Nevermind the fact that most courts won't even give you the right to marry your ladyfriend; they're sure to award you piles of cash under an archaic law that nobody's even heard of. Just be careful that Ellen doesn't try to reclaim those two goats from her dowry.
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