Ellen Barkin Nearly Dies; Sylvester Stallone Nonplussed

First, a publicist knocked out by Exhaustion was revived by Entourage star Adrian Grenier. Now, Ellen Barkin's life was saved when she received the Heimlich from high-powered agent Kevin Huvane. Forget the Chloe Paddington bag or the Alexander McQueen skull scarf. Hollywood's biggest spring fashion accessory will be a tiny first aid kit hidden inside a barrel and worn around the neck.

Barkin is currently in the midst of a big old sloppy divorce from Revlon fatcat Ron Perelman. Although she's reportedly receiving 60 million clams in the split, it wasn't all champagne wishes and caviar dreams last Saturday night. The star allegedly nearly choked to death at the Sunset Tower Hotel's Tower Bar in Los Angeles. She was dining with Barry Diller and several agents, including Huvane. Without warning, she lept from her chair, screamed, "I'M GOING TO DIE!" and then fell silent. A bystander told Page Six:

"At first I thought it was some sort of joke until she started shaking with spasms and waving her arms in the air. It was really terrifying. The whole restaurant went dead silent."

Choking is normally no laughing matter. Unless it's not happening to us, then it's hilarious! Also hilarious: Sylvester Stallone was at a nearby table but just sat there like a turd, leaving Kevin Huvane to gallantly administer first aid and save Barkin. Smooth move, Tango!
Now, admittedly, we only completed six years of medical school and CPR training and thus are not considered experts in the field of choking, but if one were to inhale a globule of food that wedged itself in the windpipe, would it not be physically impossible to speak, let alone realize, in that terrifying moment, one's impeding death and loudly vocalize it while springing, gazelle-like, to one's feet? Just call us Encyclopedia Brown. No, call us Flossie Bobbsey. She's hotter.
If you're looking for Ellen naked, you're Barkin up the right tree! Head over to MrSkin.com.