Sexy, funny, Ocasek-banging, totally fierce MILF Paulina Porizkova has taken to the streets to tell everyone how she was fired from America's Next Top Model due to Tyra Banks being a seven-headed hydra who is so hungry for power she eats only Power Bars and, like, electricity and stuff. Hopefully someone will give Paulina another job soon, because ANTM castoffs tend not to do so hot. Case in point: lovable, rubber-faced shrew Janice Dickinson, who had a little too much sake at Nobu last night and ended up attacking a group of jeering paparazzi in a slurring, T. Rex-like rage. To her credit, the dudes were acting like obnoxious 3rd grade boys torturing a retarded kitten. But to her detriment, a pashmina doesn't really make the best weapon. Unless you're trying to blindside your opponent with warm shoulders swathed in a rich silk blend.
