If youíre anything like us, you spent Monday afternoon watching the dove lady and her like-minded Thriller aficionados crying and rejoicing over Michael Jacksonís freedom while you yourself wondered how someone who admitted to sharing his bed with the entire male fanbase of SpongeBob SquarePants could be believed not to have touched their dingly-danglies. Why, it was all thanks to Kabbalah, of course!
Perhaps we would have noticed this had we turned on actual coverage of the Jacko case once in a while–we think the E! reenactments must have left this part out–but apparently Jackson was seen sporting the red Kabbalah bracelet during his pee-pee-touching trial. He was turned on to the publicity-grabbing freak fest religion by close friend and fellow bat-shit crazy person Elizabeth Taylor. A source said, ìHeís been wearing the red string during the trial, like Winona Ryder did during her trial, because it wards off the evil eye. Looks like it worked.î Does this mean that MJís next move will be to prove his outstanding ìacting abilitiesî in a movie opposite Adam Sandler and then date Ryan Adams?
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