Don’t Blame Kanye, Blame His Pain

Last night we pretended to be 80 years old and watched the premiere of The Jay Leno Show. Hey, it’s better than pretending we’re 80 and watching CSI: Miami, right? Maybe? OK, not really, but we got to extend our Kanye West related amuesment for a little while longer. What we learned from the supposed comedy show was that Jay thinks that dudes singing to terrified women in car washes is the height of humor and that according to Kanye it’s OK to be a dick if you’ve got a dead momma. In a totally not-at-all no-way-is-this-set-up moment, Jay asked Kanye what his mom would have said about his behavior and was met by a super long silence before Kanye rubbed his eyes as if crying. You know, the kind of crying that makes your eyes really itchy but doesn’t actually produce tears? Happens to us every time we think about the death of Captain Kangaroo. Somehow we just don’t think this apology worked. Mostly because it was, as usual, all about Kanye. I’m sad, I’m grieving, I was rude. If you want us to not think you’re a total d-bag and need to be exiled to Siberia with Chris Brown, you just need to say, “I’m sorry, Taylor Swift. I ruined your moment with my inconsiderate behavior and I shouldn’t have done that. I will sincerely try not be an egomaniacal tardjob in the future.”