Didn't We Almost Smoke It All

Beware, little children: If you work really, really hard to evolve from your local gospel choir to garishly colored videos on MTV requiring eighteen cans of Aquanet per performer, then transition yourself into an "actress" who gets to swoon over pre-Waterworld, pre-happy endings Kevin Costner, there will be a downside. You will soon meet up with a former boybander and be led down the fiery path to crack-addiction hell and your bathroom will look like this:



Oh, if only Whitney Houston had married that nice Ralph Tresvant instead!

Whitney Houston: addicted to crack, living in squalor, toothless, and convinced that she's being chased by demons. Aunt Dionne's Psychic Friends Network isn't looking too bad right about now. In a public service to (washed up) celeb stalkers everywhere, Tina Brown, sister of Bobby and sister-in-law of Whitney, captured photographic proof of Whitney's current state and sold her story to both London's Sun and The National Enquirer. Gawker has more pics of Whit's bathroom, in which, according to The Sun,

Drug paraphernalia including a crack-smoking pipe, rolling papers, cocaine-caked spoons and cigarette ends are strewn across the surface tops.

The paper continues,

When high on drugs, she imagines she sees demons and is being beaten by them.
The sad truth is that she bites and punches her own body without realising it.

According to Tina Brown,

“She’ll point to the floor and say, ‘See that demon. I’m telling you somebody’s messing with Bobby’. She always thinks it’s something to do with Bobby. But it’s her, hitting herself. . . . She breaks everything — mirrors, phones, cabinets, appliances.”

And Tina's allegations just keep on getting crazier from there. The New York Daily News gives a recap of the upcoming National Enquirer story and points out a few highlights:

When Whitney's mom, Cissy, forced her to attend rehab sessions in March 2004, Tina Brown says, Whitney smoked crack on the way to the meetings and dodged the urine drug tests saying: "I'm not giving you no pee today. I don't have none right now."
Whitney allegedly loses her $6,000 set of false teeth when she's high and once appeared toothless, scaring the kids at her niece's school.
In 2004, a drug dealer called Bobby Brown and ordered him to remove the paranoid and out-of-control Whitney from his crack house. "Come get your wife. I'm sick of this bitch," the dealer reportedly complained.
The once-gorgeous, velvet-voiced crooner who wooed Kevin Costner in "The Bodyguard" now "spends her days locked in her bedroom amid piles of garbage, smoking crack, using sex toys to satisfy herself and ignoring personal hygiene."

Great. Now our prevailing mental image for the rest of the week will be of a toothless and fur-coated Whitney (don't worry, she'll sell that thing for some more rock soon) gumming some warning about demons trying to suck off all of Bobby's flesh and searching under piles of refuse for her lost urine, with a crack pipe in one hand and a vibrator in the other. (And, since Whitney raided her sex-toy-money stash to buy more crack, she had to break in to Eva Longoria's house and snake a used magic stick.) We're just shocked that nowhere in those bathroom photos was a doodie bubble visible. We figured the whole house would be littered with them at this point. (We will not let the doodie bubble die! NEVER!)
Remember Whitney the way she was at MrSkin.com.