Seems that despite the fact that his horses bust out of the gate before the race has even begun, Chris "Ashton" Kutcher has knocked up his fossilized concubine, Ms. Demi Moore. But we knew that. And so did you. However, now it's been confirmed by some dude who once saw a pregnant lady, so it's GOTTA be true.
Although Moore has denied and denied being in the family way, she recently bought a baby's dresser and bed at a charity auction in Santa Monica. You may think she was buying them for her poorly-named daughter's dolls, but you'd be wrong since 1) According to our beloved Femalefirst.com, she "splashed out on a cot" at the auction, and lord knows preggo ladies often get the vapors, and 2) A very credible witness says it is so. The source saw Demi and Chris Ashton at a stage performance in L.A. earlier this week, and says, "She is definitely pregnant. She's about five or six months–I know, my wife just gave birth–I know what pregnant women look like! She sat there watching the movie, with her legs spread, hand rubbing her belly with Ashton's arm around her the whole time." Listen, this guy knows what pregnant women look like. You can't step to that, so don't even try.
In very related news, a source recently contacted us and told us that Moore was "definitely, definitely pregnant" but that "because of her Kabbalah beliefs, she refuses to discuss it. It's considered bad luck." You know what's also considered bad luck? Having a baby that has a very good chance of becoming best friends with The Spawn of Federspears. They'll be the Lindsay and Nicole of 2023!
Demi. Sooooo naked. At MrSkin.com.
